Domestic Adoption
The increasing role of the birth family
Recently an agency has been brought to my attention indicating that they deal with states who have little to no revocation laws regarding adoption. Finding it difficult to believe I went on their website and then researched the laws of the states they utilize. While it is true there are some states that have virtually no revocation provisions meaning, once the documents are signed and/or the child is turned over to the adoptive family, the birth mother can no longer change her mind. All statues in all states however, have a provision allowing revocation in the event of fraud of duress. Such is the fodder of the adoption lawsuits which paper the country. Additionally, the agency in question claims to foster a positive and "close" relationship between the adoptive family and the birth mother. This may be the way of the future of adoptions in this country but in my mind it is not the preferred method of adoption. I for one pray for the birth mother of my adopted child and bless her and thank her for my wonderful daughter. But I am not interested in having her as a part of our lives. Call me selfish, cruel or uncaring,but in my mind, her role in my daughter's life ended on the 6th day of my child's life when she put her in an orphanage. My beautiful child spent the next 15 months of her life, starving for food and attention not to mention mental stimulation. In the six years we have her, she has become healthy, happy and the joy of our lives. It was a lot of work and still is, to get her where she should be at this point in time, and I have no desire to share her. Of course my child is fully aware of the fact that she is adopted and that we traveled around the world to get her. Make no mistake I will also give her any and all information she needs if she chooses to try to find her birth family when she is older. In fact I have already told my husband I will travel with her if she wants. For now though, let me enjoy her without sharing...Russia is a lot further than Oklahoma and frankly I like it that way.
