Making the Decision to Place Your Child For Adopt...

Making the Decision to Place Your Child For Adoption

The decision to place a child for adoption is not only a life altering decision it is one decision which cannot be reversed. I came across this questionaire designed to help a birth mother decide whether or not adoption is right for them. I took some liberties in adding some of my own questions and tayloring the ones that I found based on some of my clients concerns. I hope those of you who may be considering this as an option find these helpful.

1. Is it ok to keep in mind what is good for myself as well as the baby?

2. Am I making this decision or is someone else?

3. Am I usuing responsible logic to make this decision or am I rebelling against or yielding to someone else's desires?

4. How will this decision affect my family? Should I involve them?

5. Do other people's feelings matter in making this decision?

6. How much should I listen to friends, family, community acquaintances and the birth father?

7. What are the feeling I have about my decision? Guild, pride, fear, relief?

8. Does having and raising a child fit the lifestyle I want?

9. Could I handle a child(another child) and a job at the same time?

10. Would I be ready to cut back my social life and spend more time at home?

11. Would I miss my free time and privacy?

12. Could I afford to suppor a child(another child)?

13. Do I really know how much it takes to raise a child?
(to answer this question make a list of furniture, clothing, toys, food, diapers etc..that you will need for a child and price them)

14. Do I want to raise a child in the neighborhood where I live now? If not,would I be willing and able to move?

15.Would a child change my education plans?

16. Do I have the energy and the money to go to school and raise a child at the same time?

17. Am I willing to give a great part of my life-at least 18 years- to being responsible for a child and spend a large portion of my life being concerned about my child's well being?

18. Am I ready to put a child's needs before my own?

19.Do I like doing things with children? Do I enjoy activites that children do?

20. Would I want my child to acheive things I wish I had, but didn't?

21. Would I expect my child to keep me from being lonely in my old age?

22. Do I expect my child to make my life happy?

23. Do I like children?

24. When I'm around children for a while, do I wish I could have a child around all the time?

25. Do I enjoy teaching others?

26. Do I want to give a child the love he/she needs? Is loving easy for me?

27. Am I patient enough to deal with the noise and the confusion and the 24 hour a day responsibility?

28. What kind of time and space do I need for myself?

29. What do I do when I get angry or upset? Would I be likely to lose control and hit a child?

30. What does discipline mean to me?

31. Whad does freedom, setting limits, or giving space mean?

32. What is being too strict or not strict enough?

33. Would I want the perfect child?

34. How do I get along with my parents? What will I do to avoid the mistakes my parents made?

35. How would I take care of my child's health and safety? How do I take care of my own?

36. What if I keep a child and find out I made the wrong decision?

37. Will I be able to respond to a child's medical emergencies and care for the child?

38. Does my partner want to have a child? Have we talked about the reasons?

39. Could we give a child a good home? Is our relationship a happy and strong one?

40 Are we both ready to give our time and energy to raising a child?

41. Could we share our love with a child without jealousy?

42. What will happen if we separated after having a child, or if one of us should die?

43. Do my partner and I understand each other's feelings aboutreligion, work, family, child raising, future goals? Will children fit into these feelings, hopes and plans?

44. Have I discussed my situation with my family? How do they feel about my becoming a parent? How do they feel about the child being adopted?