Happy Law This was supposed to be the area of th...

Happy Law

This was supposed to be the area of the law that made families instead of destroyed them. This is what I bragged to my staff when we entered this field. Silly me, I naturally forgot we were dealing with human nature.

Recently many of my adoption petitions have dealt with step parent adoption. Sometimes there is a parent who cannot be found, that is the easy type. Many times the parent can be found and must be given the right to object. Of course in my experience they always want to object. What ensues of course is then a hearing to see if that particular parent's rights should in fact be terminated. A pretty hefty burden.

Then we have the "I want my baby back." adoption nightmare. Again this is all too common here in the United States where we tend to bend over backwards to protect parental rights most times to the detriment of the children involved. Private adoptions in this country are a never ending source for the Lifetime Movie Network. They bring us all to tears and have helped to increase interest in International Adoptions, where children are free for adoption even before the potential adoptive couple has seen them. Orphanages internationally take abandoned or abused children in and immediately terminate parental rights. Here in the United States because of our individual freedoms and the right to contract; pregnant women enter into agreements all the time with potential adoptive parents who hope at the end of the day the mother signs the documentation required to relinquish her rights and doesn't change her mind. These couples invest time and money into this process while the birth mother can literally coast along being taken care of throughout her pregnancy and choose at the very end to change her mind. Most of these women can not afford to repay the adoptive parents, and although certainly they are entitled to all of the money they expended, as with any other judgement, the trick is in the actual collection. Aside from Private Adoption in this country we have our version of orphanages known as the Foster Care System.

No one can tell me the foster care system in this country is the best way to reconnect a family. Most children placed into the system get stuck there for years while the justice system keeps giving the child's parent yet another chance to clean up their act. Frankly, there should be a higher standard for these parents and the children should be available for adoption sooner than they presently are. Yes, the system has changed a bit and there are supposedly strick timelines in place but young children can still be in foster care for quite a while before they are eligible for adoption; and more importantly their wayward parents are given chance upon chance to show that they are now capable of caring for this child.

So we ask our yuppy and preppy couples to put their lives aside to make room in their hearts and lives for a child in need of a home, only to boldly strip them of this child when the biological parents decide they now want to be a parent. What kind of justice is served by a system which allows a child to reap the benefits of a healthy normal enviorment only to be stripped of that lifestyle once addict Mom or convict Dad decide they are now rehabiliated and want the chance to parent again? Six months or even one year down the road, the child will find themselves on the doorstep of yet another foster home, moved from house to house with only paper bags filled with the few belongings they allow themselves to own due to their constant upheaval. Perhaps the laws should be changed yet again, once a biological parent gives a child up there are "no backsies." A child is not a playing card. Look at the home and the environment not just the biology. The best home should win out, not the similarity of genes. Let's give the children more rights and their parents who should know better, less.