A Secret Blogger Visited Me I had no idea my name...

A Secret Blogger Visited Me

I had no idea my name would be given to a secret blogger. As I was roaming the blogosphere as I do reading adoption blogs, I can across the Secret Blogger idea and became intrigued. I volunteered to cheer up someone in the throws of this delightful but stressful endeavor since I had gone through it myself. I had explained to the founders of the idea that I would be glad to be an encourager since now with 4 children living at home I am done with reproducing or adopting. Well this week I received an email and then an amazon e-card and gift card from my secret blogger. What an unexpected treat!! First, I only shop from Amazon.com in that I hate physically going shopping, and second I am a computer freak! Just ask my family. Thank you secret blogger pal. I can't wait to chat with you and share our experiences.

Secret Blog Pals Running through the blogasphere...

Secret Blog Pals

Running through the blogasphere is a new phenomena I discovered called Secret Blog Pals. In the adoption community this was developed by two bloggers to help encourage and keep the spirits up of all those embarking on this endeavor. It sounds like a wonderful idea and I opted to join in the fun this round. It is anonymous which tends to make communication with your blog pal a bit of a challenge. The idea is to encourage without being found out. Comments to the bloggers website and snail mail greetings are encouraged as I have been told emails from the accounts of others which cannot be traced back to you. I have some books I will be mailing my blog pal and hope that the anonymous comments I made on her site help her out. Since I am through with my adoption adventure I volunteered to merely be one who encourages. As you all know from reading this blog I am an ardent supporter of Adoption and will talk about it to anyone who will give me an ear!

I wish I could speak with my secret pal directly in that I know she has been going through a rough time and wish I could tell her my stories and perhaps give her some insight as to why certain things have happened to her. Anyone interested in getting involved can read about this at http://www.russianbrown.blogspot.com. And to my friend Jen http://threesons.clubmom.com/three_sons who is just returning with her Pineapple Princess this week....I am thinking of you girlfriend; Enjoy every crazy minute and be sure to document it all when you get back; you daughter will LOVE reading about it someday. Here is to all the secret blog pals out there; may all your dreams come true.....soon!

OH Oklahoma! What Were You Thinking?? The 10th C...

OH Oklahoma! What Were You Thinking??

The 10th Circuit Court of Appeals heard arguments examining the constitutionality of the Oklahoma Adoption Invalidation Law. The Act, passed in 2004, would ban state officials from recognizing a same-sex adoption. Same-sex couples anywhere with legally adopted children would lose their status as parents when inside Oklahoma. The United States District Court for the Western District of Oklahoma struck down the law in May, finding that the law "By its refusal to recognize and give effect to a valid judgment, from another court of competent jurisdiction, which established their status as parents of their respective children, the Amendment violates the Full Faith and Credit Clause of the United States Constitution, the Equal Protection Clause and substantive due process rights."
Interesting that Oklahoma feels it has the power to invalidate a law made by any state in the union. So this technically would mean that if a same sex couple and their children were involved in an auto accident while passing through the state of Oklahoma and all parties were rushed to a local hospital; the parents would have no authority to decide upon the children's medical treatment since in effect in the state of Oklahoma they are not legal guardians of these children but mere strangers! How absurd! If Oklahoma wants to ban same sex couple adoption the way Florida has, than so be it. It is there right to do so. However, as part of a union of united states, they DO Not have the right to invalidate any other states laws just because a party steps on their soil! It seems the Oklahoma state legislature and their governor who signed this into law think they are the rulers of their own fiefdom. Not so Oklahoma, as a resident of another state I am aghast at your gaul. If Oklahoma were to be allowed to get away with invalidating any other state's law what a mess this country will become. Each state will retaliate and nullify the state law of their choosing and people will be afraid to leave their own home state for fear of breaking the law of a sister state just by setting foot across a boarder. We are one country..Do you hear that Oklahoma?? Shame on you for instigating the start of another civil war. You have broken a Federal law with your arrogance and I'm sure you will be shot down. One Nation....Under God; Indivisible. It is your constitution too.

Domestic Adoption The increasing role of the birt...

Domestic Adoption
The increasing role of the birth family

Recently an agency has been brought to my attention indicating that they deal with states who have little to no revocation laws regarding adoption. Finding it difficult to believe I went on their website and then researched the laws of the states they utilize. While it is true there are some states that have virtually no revocation provisions meaning, once the documents are signed and/or the child is turned over to the adoptive family, the birth mother can no longer change her mind. All statues in all states however, have a provision allowing revocation in the event of fraud of duress. Such is the fodder of the adoption lawsuits which paper the country. Additionally, the agency in question claims to foster a positive and "close" relationship between the adoptive family and the birth mother. This may be the way of the future of adoptions in this country but in my mind it is not the preferred method of adoption. I for one pray for the birth mother of my adopted child and bless her and thank her for my wonderful daughter. But I am not interested in having her as a part of our lives. Call me selfish, cruel or uncaring,but in my mind, her role in my daughter's life ended on the 6th day of my child's life when she put her in an orphanage. My beautiful child spent the next 15 months of her life, starving for food and attention not to mention mental stimulation. In the six years we have her, she has become healthy, happy and the joy of our lives. It was a lot of work and still is, to get her where she should be at this point in time, and I have no desire to share her. Of course my child is fully aware of the fact that she is adopted and that we traveled around the world to get her. Make no mistake I will also give her any and all information she needs if she chooses to try to find her birth family when she is older. In fact I have already told my husband I will travel with her if she wants. For now though, let me enjoy her without sharing...Russia is a lot further than Oklahoma and frankly I like it that way.

The Hague Convention New Rules 2007 The hot news ...

The Hague Convention
New Rules 2007
The hot news in international adoption at this juncture is the implementation of the Hague Convention Treaty set up to safeguard international adoptions. Major Advantages of the Convention and Its Implementation as per the State Department website states:

Provides, for the first time, formal international and intergovernmental recognition of intercountry adoption.
Recognizes intercountry adoption, as defined and treated by the Convention, as a means of offering the advantage of a permanent family to a child for whom a suitable family has not been found in the childÂ’s country of origin.
Establishes a set of internationally agreed minimum requirements and procedures uniformly to govern intercountry adoptions in which a child moves from one Convention party country to another.
Requires that countries party to the Convention establish a Central Authority to be the authoritative source of information and point of contact in that country, to carry out certain functions, to cooperate with other Central Authorities, and to ensure effective implementation of the Convention in the United States.
Provides a means for ensuring that adoptions made pursuant to the Convention will generally be recognized and given effect in other party countries.
Facilitates the adoption by U.S. adoptive parents of children from other party countries through an expanded category of children, safeguarded by the Convention, who will qualify for immigration and automatic naturalization in the United States.
Certain countries have already been apart of this treaty, however to date the United States was not.
That meant that international adoption previously was conductedthroughh the foreign country and the United States had very little to do with the adoption except with regard to INS approval. Now agencies who have previously worked only with foreign governments to procure these adoptions need to deal with the US government as well.
What does this mean to the average adoptive couple? Another layer of government has been added to the mix,bringing with it the usual additionalbureaucraticc requirements and additional paperwork andproceduress not yet outlined. Chances are this new wrinkle will slow down adoptions somewhat as agencies and the new governmental agency will need to feel there way through uncharted waters for a while until they have established a firm policy.
The good news is of course, there are many more safeguards in place for the adoptive family enabling them to recoup lost money in the event an adoption falls through and in fact make it such that adoptions should no longer fall through the cracks. As the agencies scramble to insure that all goes smoothly with theirclientelel the actual additional requirements will not be known for a while. The best advice is to find an agency already accredited internationally and begin the application process as soon as possible. There is a good chance that applications in process may be exempt from the new additional paperwork, but that is yet to be seen. I will keep an eye on this and keep you posted.

So A Couple Came Into My Office Today.... And I ...

So A Couple Came Into My Office Today....

And I believe I talked them right out of Private Domestic Adoption. God forgive me if I have done them a disservice but the thought of representing any party again in a private adoption had me ready to hand in my happy law credo and dive back into my divorce trenches. This positively nice couple came in with all intentions of placing an 800 number in the paper and housing and meeting a frail young pregnant woman who wanted her child to have a better life. They were absolutely rosey in their concept of the how this was a wonderful idea of the young woman who may have found herself in a jam and the poor infant who would otherwise have a very difficult childhood. As I forced myself to not start screaming about how you couldn't be sure who to trust and who not to trust and the fact that they could very well be walking right into a con; helping a woman who actually had no intention at all of giving up her child but wanted financial help throughout her pregnancy and then conveniently changes her mind when the infant is produced. Or perhaps just some gold digger who wants to play "How much for that Baby In Utero?" Oh, don't worry, I stopped myself before I lost control and ran screaming from the room. I just very calmly started listing the cons of entering into this time of "agreement" though it is far from an agreement in this country where the baby is the one truly unprotected. I stressed the fact that the relinquishing of the child could not be made until the child was born and that they would have already made a hefty financial and emotional investment by that time. I then segue into the forum of International Adoption. I proceeded to advise them that in this type of adoption the children were usually already free for adoption and there would be no dealing with birth mothers. There are no open adoptions internationally, nor are there negotiations as to fees or expenses. Forgive me I said if I feel very strongly here, but I recently represented a birth mother who is in the process of suing for the child back and has implemented me in the course of this saying I forced her into this process. Of course that is the furthest thing from the truth and in fact, I believe that I was the one duped in all of this. I firmly believe this was a hoax from day one and that myself and the adoptive parents were pawns to this addict (no, I didn't know she was an addict at the time)and I had no plans to put myself in such a position again. International adoption was much more agreeable to me in that my experience was by far the happiest and most rewarding time of my life. This couple left with a new idea and lots of websites and warm fuzzy feelings. Be it China, Russia, Guatemala or the Ukraine anyplace but the United States is the place to go for adoption....Yup just ask my girl....She'll tell you.

International Adoption is Never A Bad Idea My da...

International Adoption is Never A Bad Idea

My daughter has long blond hair and green eyes. She was 16 months old when we adopted her and was shortly on her way out of the infants hospital we had found her. The chances of adoption after the age of 12 months drastically drops in countries such as Russia, where only healthy infants are desired by the Russian people. Many cannot even afford to take in another child. Once a child in Russia reaches the age of 16 they are turned out into the street to find their own way. Most of the girls turn to prostitution and the boys turn to drugs. China has a similiar story to tell, with the one child rule, the Chinese are unable to adopt their own due to the violation of their country's laws.
Where then, do these purported advocates of these children come off telling everyone including CNN that maybe international adoption is not in the best interests of these children and that perhaps they are better off in their communities. Who is there to raise them in these communities is the questions? No one is the answer. These children are left to beg for their own well being.